Fail Blog

I feel like my last three entries were failed attempts at being normal. I had a mini breakdown not long after my latest entry. I wept for days and ate nothing. Apparently, that letter bothered me more that I realized. Thank God for friends who came along side me and just told me that they were thinking about me and praying about me. Naomi and Andrea especially, and Brooke of course. Naomi helped me realize my depression and Andrea helped determined its source. That was then. Many things have happened since of course.

First of all.... I developed two ccs, one of which is resolved, the other is getting there. Hopefully sooner rather than later. I don't know if I'll write more about it, not on this blog anyway.

I went to FL for spring break and Crystal came back with me. It made for an awesome week, even if I was super stressed with classes etc.

Claire and I watched North and South today. It was nice getting to know her.

I think I will skip church tomorrow and just bike to the park and read my Bible. Sound like a good plan? I miss those those long hours just spent in quiet meditation. I was at my org luncheon today and the speaker spoke about how we can sin by being overly busy and focused on serving or ministry, but not on the relationship with God. So true. I need to spend some time with my best friend tomorrow. Sometimes I get caught up in the "what has God done for ME" at church that I don't think about God Himself. Is that weird? Do you understand? I get to thinking, wow, I love today, God is so good, I'm at this wonderful school and have these lovely friends, wow, my life is pretty good, I'm so thankful, etc. Instead of just telling God that I love Him, and asking Him what His will is for my life. The speaker has this illustration of going to the living room where your best friend is, and instead of talking to her, you pick up a biography of her life and read a few pages before walking out the door again. Anyway, I want to talk to God for a long time, not just hear about Him. Of course there is a place for that too. ...
Anyway, it is rather late. I should finish organizing my life for next week.

Chow.