I like Coffee

I confess, I have found caffeine to be an excellent study aid. It does help me focus on school and I don't think the feeling is placebo induced. I am in the Hive again, studying for SF II and Physio.
This past week has been interesting. I suppose it was good. Indeed, many fun things happened around campus. SF was canceled on Tuesday, with an all-out snow day on Wednesday. That postponed a quiz and canceled a test. I studied diligently in the morning and then made pancakes and played apples to apples with Brooke, David, and Joy. We went sledding and watched Sisterhood 2 before bed. I was so tired on Thursday b/c of my late bedtime Wed. night. Thursday was Brookie's birthday and we went out for pizza to celebrate. Our Cheesecake plans were canceled due to the snow. Last night I died my hair black and Brooke got her cartilage pierced.
I'm reading a book for Abnormal Psychology called "The Noonday Demon." I hate it. It makes me... depressed. I'm not trying to sound ironical, but with chapters with titles like "Depression", "Breakdowns" and "Suicide" to name a few, how can you expect any less. The author is a brilliant writer and describes his despair so well that the reader agonizes with him. I experience his losses and feel dark after I read his demoralizing account.
That is where I am now. Not deeply, but enough to keep a smile from my face. These symptoms are not so uncommon that I haven't met someone who personally struggled with them. My dear childhood friend struggled with depression for years. She met a man who completely understood her feelings, having had them himself, and found hope in his arms. I am going to be in their wedding in a few months.
I extremely dislike facebook. I have become anti-social to the point where I want to avoid virtual interactions. I don't want to post pictures or be in any pictures. I hate feeling that way but I can't help it. Sometimes I despise my phone. I think I would enjoy camping for a week. Last year I used to dream about hiking in a park alone for an entire day, but this year I dream about a whole week.
I don't hate people. I love people and want to devout my life to serving others in humble ways. I read this quote from George Macdonald- "Few delights can equal the presence of one whom we trust utterly." I would rather spend my 'alone' time with my sister than be by myself. I would forgo my camps or nature hikes to be in her soothing presence. I keenly feel her absence. I miss her so much.
This sounds like a depressing entry. Well, I'm sure in two days I will not feel this intensely at all if you know what I mean. :) Haha, I'll learn about those hormones later....